Social media is in an uproar after a 39-year-old woman goes viral on TikTok for paying $10k for a dating coach.
Lately, timelines across TikTok, X, and Threads have been buzzing with hot takes and think pieces circling the one-million-dollar question: Would you pay $10,000 for a dating coach?
Yes, you read that number right—ten thousand dollars for dating advice.
Over the weekend, social media was sent into a collective double take when content creator Shirley Varnae shared a multi-part testimonial about her luxury-level journey with viral dating coach Anwar White, the founder of “Get Your Guy Coaching.” Her TikTok series, titled “How I Invested Over 10k into My Dating Coach and Was Engaged in a Year,” quickly gained traction, with users both intrigued and skeptical.
In the videos, Varnae explains how White helped her not only find her fiancé within a year but also step into what she calls the role of “CEO of her love life.” But while Varnae was celebrating her journey, timelines were split—some fascinated, others downright appalled at the five-figure price tag for romantic guidance.
The debate, unsurprisingly, caught fire.
Beyond those who can’t fathom paying such a premium for dating advice in a world where many Americans are battling debt and an increased cost of living, there are users who feel as though the price tag does not match the service because a key part of this story is that Varnae met her now fiancé on Hinge, an accessible (and free) dating app.
“10k? I don’t want a man that bad,” one TikTok user commented under Varnae’s video.
“[A] girl on [TikTok] paid 10K to a dating coach (which is fine. it’s ur $), but now it comes out that the dating coach wasn’t even arranging dates but helped her w [men] ON HINGE?! now the girl is doing all these parts to gain traction and make her $ back by selling us the grift she was sold,” another user tweeted about the situation.
But here’s the thing: White isn’t selling himself as a matchmaker. His brand is built around dating strategy, not setting people up. According to his website, “I have my own proprietary dating strategy that allows my clients to date high-quality guys consistently. That’s the exterior work. Now we have to talk about the interior work, which is just as important. Becoming the woman that is ready for the best relationship of her life takes a whole other set of skills. Without them, we go straight into self-sabotage, and ain’t nobody got time for that!”
And for Varnae, that interior work is what mattered most.
She’s been vocal about seeing the investment as part of a broader self-betterment journey. In her videos, she compares her payment to the money she’s already spent on personal growth — from therapy to executive coaching to business conferences. To her, the $10K wasn’t a splurge, it was strategy.
“This is to support me with a successful dating strategy… with a proven framework to assess compatibility. To help me funnel and filter qualified men to get me into a successful marriage,” she explained.
Ultimately, it’s her money — and her decision.
However, the debate has opened the door for deeper conversations about what self-care can look like, how women are taught to pursue love, and the ways men still sit at the center of so many women’s narratives around personal growth. Whether you’re side-eyeing the cost or applauding the commitment, one thing is clear:
The path to love isn’t one-size-fits-all.
For some, it’s emotional. For others, it’s strategic. For Varnae, it was both.
